For What It's Worth
by Collida
Summary: AU :: Ran x Youji :: Ran's got a crush but will never admit it. Will he confess his feelings before it's too late?
1. Am I Good Enough?

Notes: I've been gone for about...3 months? I believe that's it but now Collida's back with something new! (Not that I think anyone except the few ppl I know are going to notice heehee) This one is painfully short, I know...

Pairings: Ran x Youji

Rating: PG-13 for language

Warnings: Language, Yaoi, AU, fluffishness

Disclaimer: *wails* I wish!

~~~

For What It's Worth

Chapter 1: Am I Good Enough?

~

The day was young and bright, a fresh respite from the dreary and dismal stretches of winter. The breeze still held a chill scent of the north, rustling amongst the great multitude of silky petals. The subtle fragrance of hundreds of blooms brushed by him, _swept up in the wind as a person is swept away into the arms of their lover..._

"What the hell am I thinking about?" A murmuring chuckle escaped from his lips as he continued through the garden. _I can almost hear what Youji would say if he knew what I had been thinking about. _

The ghostly voice sounded inside his mind, adopting the image of a handsome brunette. _"Is it possible? Your heart of ice has thawed? Truly I'm touched, Ran..."_

And Ran's own response, _"Who the hell said I meant you? Or anyone for that fucking matter?"_ He could feel his face flushing and felt embarrassed. Even though the argument was completely fictional and in his own mind, Youji still managed to anger him. Another chuckle, this one directed at himself emerged. The red head smirked slightly and sat on a bench surrounded by encroaching roses. 

The garden was a public park, quiet and reserved from the inane noises of the city. It's ivy walls stood upon a vast field of lush grass, trees bowing wearily as fruit swelled upon their branches. It was place of silent and musical beauty, a place Ran could go without the annoyances of home. A violet gaze alighted upon the rich green of the ivy, twisting into the twin gaze of Youji. 

"Why am I thinking of _him?_ I despise Youji. There is nothing in that conceited, self-centered, rude, bitchy man that I admire."

_'Oh is that what you _really _think?' _A laugh. Youji's laugh. 

"Fuck you." The one ended conversation faded away and Ran finally rose and left the park, strolling down the paved avenues between walls of green of all possible shades that could possibly remind of him a certain one. 

~

"Ran! How was your trip to the park?" a younger boy greeted warmly as Ran entered the kitchen. The greeting was returned with a cool look as the red head seated himself at the table. 

"It was fine, Omi." 

"Well someone's feeling rather bitchy today, now aren't they?" a drawling voice inquired from the next room. Ran grated his teeth and willed his fists to remain relaxed. A tall brunette strolled into the kitchen, a charming grin upon his charming face that completed his charming little self. 

"Just charming. Just fucking charming." the red head replied, not bothering to meet Youji's smirking gaze. 

"Well there's no need to be rude. I was only making an observation." he protested, emerald gaze wide with false innocence. He knew he only fueled Ran's fiery temper but hell, the bastard was cute when he yelled. 

"Fuck you Youji." Ran stood again, not willing to put up with shit from the playboy. 

"I'm sure it would be exquisite but I'd need some help!" Youji called to the red head's retreating back. Omi gasped slightly as he worked at the stove. 

"You realize that that doesn't help anything, Youji." the boy murmured reprovingly.

"Yes, I realize that." the elder replied, moving to the counter to help cook. 

"Then why do you do it?"

"Because I know it gets him angry."

__

'I despise that damned bastard. What the hell was I thinking about him for?' Ran now sat by his window, reveling in the breeze that floated through, caressing his face. _'He's conceited, rude, annoying, self-centered, conceited, conceited, annoying, rude, conceited...I wish I could punch that fucking smirk right off his face. I wish I could fuck up that perfect little face of his, humble him a little. Just hit that perfect skin...Aw damn... I refuse to like Youji. He's a fucking bastard. A hot fucking bastard...I wonder how good he is in bed. I wonder what he looks like naked.' _A loud smack issued from the wall where Ran punched it, trying to clear his mind of thoughts of Youji. After a moment of resisting, it became futile. The brunette's image remained stubbornly fixed firmly in the gaze of Ran's mind. _'I'm not good enough for him...'_


	2. Get Away From Me

Notes: Here's Chapter 2! This one should be a bit longer...

Pairings: Ran x Youji

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: language, violence, yaoi

Disclaimer: *wails* I wish!

~~~

For What It's Worth

Chapter 2: Get Away From Me

~

A violet gaze trailed over pages of a book, empty and taking in nothing as though it was not truly there. Night had finally draped itself over the horizon, and the moon was but a silver crescent, calling to him from the open window. The breeze had chilled now and the land had cooled. An orchestra of crickets were tuning up outside and a bird cheeped sleepily from its perch on a nearby tree. Within the house was silent, and empty. Omi and Ken had gone to the store and Youji, of course was cavorting about the streets looking for a maiden to rescue from her mundane existence. 

"Disgusting bastard." Ran muttered as he rose from the chair, placing the book on the table. He stretched with a yawn, loose black shirt rising to reveal a toned stomach and sleeves falling over muscular arms. His crimson hair lay rakishly around his face, violet gaze peering out from beneath handsome brows among flawlessly pale skin. Sensual lips opened in a second yawn. Ran shoved on a pair of shoes and walked out of the house and onto the sidewalk. 

The streets were generally deserted, but considering the hour he had expected less people abroad than there were now. A girl and presumably her older sister walked half a block ahead of him and a trio of teenage boys walked on the other side of the street. A man and his wife walked behind him a short distance. There was the sound of general talking, none of the words discernable but the sound a gentle relief from so much silence. 

But there was something else... there! A dark murmur from the alley coming up on Ran's right. At this distance he could distinguish two, no three voices and all of them menacing. The red head walked casually by the entrance of the alley, peering in by his peripheral vision. The shadows were deep and heavy, concealing the speakers well but there was a flash of luscious brown hair. Ran kept walking but stopped a few feet from the entrance to the alley, leaning against the wall nonchalantly, inspecting his fingernails in an onstentatious show of false boredom. He sidled closer to make out their words. 

"Now you should know never to lay your paws on a woman unless she's not seeing anyone, don't you?" a low voiced thug inquired in an imitation of sweet patience. 

"I don't think this one's too bright, boss." a lackey observed when the brown haired victim said nothing. 

"He just doesn't want to talk. But that can easily be remedied." Boss replied, his voice acquiring an almost purr-like edge. "Make him talk." the thug commanded as a few laughs emitted from the others. Ran stepped forward, into the entrance of the alley. 

"Well that's not very nice." the red head told them with a shake of his head. "Four against one? You ought to be ashamed. Where are your mothers?"

"Who the hell are you?" Boss demanded, moving to stand in front of Ran. "Continue please." he told his lackeys. 

"Oh just a man of morals." Ran replied, the grin on his face growing even wider as his eyes grew colder. He ducked as Boss went to punch him and swung his leg around to take the thug's feet out from under him. Boss landed heavily, something cracking as his body hit the pavement. From a quick glance, it looked as if his elbow had been cracked. 

Youji's face was being pummeled in but he made no sound. Except for hysterical laughter as he saw Ran toss his assailant at the brick wall. The other two thugs made to attack the fiery tempered red head but one fell when his face forcefully met the metal lid of a trashcan and the other when a few of his ribs broke under the weight of a powerful fist. 

Ran grabbed Youji's wrist and wrenched him from the alley and onto the sidewalk. In the light, his eye was already turning black and swollen and blood welled from his nose and lower lip. 

"You look like shit." Ran informed him as they made their way back to their homes. The thugs had disappeared by the time they had walked two blocks from the alley. 

"Thanks." Youji replied with a grin, wincing as the expression pulled his split lip. They remained silent until they were safe within their home, door locked. The brunette sat in the kitchen, while Ran gathered medical supplies. The red head tossed a damp rag at Youji and a tied rag filled with ice. 

"Clean yourself up." Ran ordered, taking a seat for himself. After a few more minutes of tender dabbing, the flows of blood were stemmed and the ice covered the already black eye. "Now would you mind telling me what the fuck just happened?"

"You're one to talk. What the hell were you doing? Trying to play the damned hero? You only made things worse, Ran." Youji retorted angrily. 

"I love the fucking gratitude. I just saved your shitty ass and you don't even thank me. Fuck you Youji." Ran rose abruptly and strode from the kitchen and upstairs to his room. He closed his window and sat in his chair, violently opening his book and glaring at it with inordinate amounts of hatred. _'What the hell is that fucking bastard's problem? I saved his piece of shit life and he doesn't show me any gratitude. I could just kept walking and left the shit to be beat out of him. I should have fucking done that!' _ The wall shuddered as Ran's fist left a dent in it speckled with Youji's blood. He sat back in his chair, fists white as they clenched and unclenched. He let his anger drain away, glaring at the wall. 

"Have you finished your temper tantrum?" Youji questioned, his head poking into the room. Ran's head snapped around, he hadn't heard the brunette open his door. 

"Don't you fucking knock?" the red head snapped, not willing to meet Youji's gaze. 

"Of course I don't. You know that." he replied, unperturbed by Ran's harsh tone. 

"What the hell do you want?" Ran inquired, finally turning to glare at the brunette. After a moment's silence, "If you're not going to say anything, get the fuck out."

"I came to ask why you helped me out." Youji answered quietly, still standing in the open doorway. 

Ran looked away, unable to say anything. He couldn't tell Youji why he had stepped in. "There was nothing better to do."

"Oh sure." Youji retorted sardonically. 

"Because I...I-" Ran faltered, "I don't have to tell you a fucking thing. Now get out." 


	3. What Do You Want?

Notes: Hiya! Everything should be getting a little more heated... *grins* hehe *bows* Enjoy!

Pairings: RanxYouji

Rating: R

Warnings: language, yaoi, lime, fluff, angst

Disclaimer: Not mine. Why not? Too crazy. Like me! ^____^

~~~

For What It's Worth

Chapter 3: What Do You Want?

~

"What the hell happened to you?" Ken inquired, brows raising as Youji entered the kitchen. The brunette replied with a hapless grin and a shrug. 

"Oh you know those damned stairs. They're hell on drunken depth perception." Ran glanced up at Youji for a moment, listening to the response and wondering why the truth was kept hidden. But it was not his concern truly. If Kudou didn't care to tell the others what had transpired the previous night, that was fine with him. He didn't give a damn what the others thought. 

__

'Is that why you haven't told anyone of your feelings?' A thought questioned, wandering aimlessly through his mind. Ran's fists clenched and relaxed, urging himself to relax. _'I don't understand why I can't just tell Youji and be done with it. What's the worst he'll say?' _But the scene was already playing out in his mind, one of incredible hurt and sorrow. A sneer upon Youji's face and his back turning away. _'I am below him...' _

"Why so quiet Ran?" Omi questioned good-naturedly. The red head silenced his genial smile with a glare. 

"It's none of your fucking business." _'No. I can't let anyone find out. They wouldn't understand.'_ Ran stood and left, exiting through the back door to lean against the porch rail. 

The day was cool, a mild breeze striking up a faint chord in distant wind chimes. He stared out into the horizon, mind blissfully empty of intrusive thoughts.

"You haven't been acting yourself lately. I think I know why." Youji's voice was filled with amusement but Ran stiffened with anxiety. Had he found out somehow? Had he guessed?

"What the hell do you know?" he snapped, not bothering to turn around and face Youji.

"More than you'd think. I know that you're madly in love with me, aren't you?" the brunette approached, a large grin upon his face. He leaned in close to Ran's face, taunting him. 

"I wouldn't waste fucking time on you if I was paid."

"Oh you can't mean that, Ran darling." Youji insisted, poking Ran's shoulder. "Tell me the truth now. None of this coy hiding."

His face was barely inches from Ran's and looming tantalizingly closer. The red head's mind swam with thoughts to kiss those lips, pull Youji against him and kiss him all over. But he remained still, frozen in place by the brunette's proximity. 

"What? You're not going to tell me?" A smile now curved his lips, such a beautiful pale color. So full and soft...

An electric heat raged from Ran's lips to his hands where their flesh made contact as he pulled Youji against him. The kiss was hot, tingling, passionate. The brunette responded, running his hands up Ran's back, feeling the contours of his muscles and bones. 

"No." Youji broke the kiss, pulling away. He backed away from Ran's tight embrace, shaking his head. "Not you." He walked back into the house, silence ensuing only to be broken by the opening and closing of the front door as Youji left the house. 

"Youji..." Ran stared at the place where he had held the brunette close in his arms. Still feeling the lingering heat and passion that had coursed through their bodies. "Come back..." A single, silvery tear dropped to the ground, a world of sorrow and incredible anguish. 


End file.
